After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
