the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I think your dad took our porno
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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