I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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