Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
40s are totally the cure
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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