Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
