how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
