Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
