My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
