come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
