people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
