Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
