we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize