Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
