she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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