I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize