just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
