I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
