So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
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