glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize