I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
