You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
