i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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