You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
