then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
