I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
