wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
