Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
