it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize