i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
