I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
It's never too late to be topless.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
