I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
