I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize