So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
