i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we're making bets on your personal life
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
