I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize