I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
