Plan B is the new Plan A
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
