Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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