Fuck appropriateness.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
