Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
