Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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