sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
