There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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