PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
