So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
