I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
