Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
