Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize