I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
