he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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