...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
