just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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