she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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