last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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