i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
