I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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