East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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