He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize