This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
