So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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