There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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