i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
