I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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