Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
NoShamevember. You game?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
