What a fucking waste of an outfit
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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