i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
